faith

"Have you ever wondered how would the ocean feel if the sun didn't trust her enough to settle down?"

"Awful, I guess."

"That's how people feel when you don't trust them. People who love you and care for you. You punish them for what other people did to you. So please try to loosen the grip, try to relax and open up. Let people love you and trust that they will," 

A said at the end of a fight. He doesn't get angry often but when he does, i prefer to stay quiet. After he was done talking to me. After he had finally calmed down and his eyes were soft brown again I wrote him a note that said; Dear A

I wouldn't even want to be an ocean who feels awful every time the sun settles down on it's back with hesitation, but always does. But I am also so tired of being the sun, of raging a fight within myself each time I let people a step closer. How do you think I feel? Knowing that all the fears i have are most likely irrational and yet, have them. When a person burns his finger on a hot plate, he picks every other plate with care, a precaution in order to not burn himself again. It never means that for him every plate is the same, but that he is afraid that every other plate is capable of burning his finger.