Dear You

Dear, you,
I will tell you a secret; life has not changed me, it has revealed the parts of me I didn't know exist. If my past were to meet me today, they wouldn't know me. It would be a pleasant surprise, a soft sigh, a tender relief. 
I have forgiven everything and it has dismembered me in a way I don't understand. It has taken me through the worst days of my life to bring me here.

To a place I no longer hold on to with fear of losing. To a happiness that I don't care to possess. To a huge realization that whatever that matters is here with me now and I am living it. 

And it will go away, this very minute that I hold your hand, or kiss you. This moment when we laugh. This moment when it hurts to say goodbye and go home. This moment when happiness pours out of my eyes as you play your favorite songs. All of this will end, all of this will change, I cannot hold on to it forever even if I want to.

But life has revealed its secret and it is this, all you have is now and all that you will have will come to you regardless. The best thing you can do is let yourself feel what you are feeling, even if it's happiness that you once didn't dare to call yours. Even if it is a love so profound that it causes you to drop to your knees. Even if it is that feeling of knowing that you'll miss someone as soon as they leave. Feel it even if you fear you may lose it all someday. Because guess what? If it's bound to happen, it will. Fearing it will only make the present less present.

So next time let that hug last a little longer, let that kiss stop you from saying goodbyes, let that hand warm your hands. Let your smile take its time to reach your heart. Let the laughter echo.

Things will go wrong. They do go wrong before they lead you to better things. Things will go wrong because they do to reveal you something you must know. Things do go wrong, with everyone, everywhere and yet people reach where they are meant to be. All you have to do is..keep going.

Yours,
A

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